Baby beats

I had my last appointment with the fertility doctor today...they did an ultrasound. Baby a had a heartbeat of 161 and baby b was 163. All is well. I have my first OB appointment on Tuesday the 7th.

So I am beyond stressed with the whole day care thing. I have a job with the State. I am only considered part-time per diem, although I work 35 hours each and every week. I get no vacation, sick or holiday time paid. I can take as much time as I want, just all unpaid. I dont make that much hourly even, just $14.25. But the benefits are amazing. I have health benefits though them and they are suped up CT State employee benefits. I get so much that I know other people don't.

My lapband was covered 100% within 4 weeks. My infertiliy was paid for completely, from testing, HSG, Sono, IUI, meds.....I had a $10 copay at the docs only. I think it cost $85 each month between the 3-4 ultrasounds and blood work and meds and what not. Ovidrel was $10, Clomid was $5.

I don't want to stop working. I will have a great retirement package with the State and my husband jokes that he will take care of us now and I will take care of us later. I also enjoy my job.

CT is expensive, everything in it, cost of living is the highest after NY I think....my mom lives in RI and can never get over how much more everything costs here.

Daycare, for a meh center, far from the best, for the twins they want $546 a week. Far more than I make, or at least take home after they get done taking all they do for all the things I am paying into (medical, dental, retirement, logevity and a few other thinsg I dont even know what they are). That would be a total of $2316 a month after a 2% paying monthly discount. Our mortgage is $1950 a month. $400 a month mor ethan our mortgage. Yikes.

I have called about half a dozen home daycares, which would still be about $400 a week, but the problem with that is they canonly have 2 infants under 2, and most already have one and will not have openings for 2, or they have a daycare kids mom who is pregnant and will have had an infant by that time.

I really am at a loss. I am so beyond blesed to be pregnant with twins, I know this. But with 2, it really is double the cost. The daycare will break us. The diapers, the formula, everything. It is going to be really difficult.

I am trying to talk my mom into coming and staying a few days a week with us to help out. She lives in another State so she would have to come and stay a few nights here. I dont know what is going to wok out, but i am super stressed about this.

I don't want to have to quit my job. It would be nice to stay home for a year, but I dont want to give up the state job. I wont get it back, I am pretty sure. I have put in almost 3 years there and I know even though it doesnt pay much now, in the long run it will pay off big time for us.

Sad :-(