So, due to my sickness last week the doctor had me do an upper GI test today to check on my band. It was really neat to see my band and how it works under florascope. My band is positioned perfectly and working just as it should be. I got .01 of a fill while there too. I hope it jump starts me back to losing weight. I haven't lost anything in a week and it is kind of depressing.
I did discover today that I can no longer eat pasta. It makes me sad. I love pasta. I prefer it over any cake or candy or anything really.
My hubby and I had a fight last night. It was about the air conditioner. It was stupid but I really feel terrible about it. I think it illuminated a bigger issues for us on both sides. I really feel like his opposite schedule is taking a toll on me, and on our relationship. It is so hard. I also have so much going on in my head, I really feel like my husband just does not get it, and part of me thinks that he just doesnt care. I have issues going on with my mom, and worrying about her, work is taking a toll, I am tired all the time, I have stress, and infertility really takes a toll on me too. So much. Sometimes I just feel like I need a husband who is more understanding, more compassionate. One who will say I don't understand, but I am here for you. Someone to wipe away my tears. It is a bad week, I may feel differently next week, but right now, I feel alone.
I feel physically tired all the time. No doctor knows why, but I am so sick of being sick and tired. It is hard for me to imagine how a baby will play into all of this. If I am too tired now, how will I be able to take care of a baby, when I feel like I can barely take care of myelf some days.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Life happens
So, I had said I would not go weeks without blogging, and here I have failed. I want this journal to be a guide and look back on our journey of infertility, as well as for a way for family and friends to keep up with what is going on. Sadly, nothing much is going on right now.
We celebrated Tim's dads retirement on Thursday with a whole bunch of his co-workers at a restaurant in Maddison. It was a nice time, and his dad was really glad that his kids were there to support him. On the way home I felt sick, and just got worse as the night went on. By midway through the night I was in horrible condition. I called out of work and was really sick, fever, throwing up, the whole nine yards. I had a doctor's appointment that day anyway, so it worked out well. I went to see my general doctor, Doctor T, and he said it was food poisoning or a bug, he wasnt sure which one, as they both have the same symptoms. He wants a ultrasound of my spleen, but he gave me some meds to take away the nauseau and he also gave me a clean bill of health in general and said to go ahead and have a baby! He was pleased with my weight loss and said that it is much more healthy for me to have a baby now. It makes me so happy that all of my doctors are on board with getting pregnant now. I have lost 40 pounds and they are all happy and supportive and it makes me happy.
My husband has been away at a LAN party with his friends this weekend and I have had some great me time. I shopped all day yesterday, and bought a lot! The only bad thing about losing so much weight is that none of my clothes fit anymore! So I needed some new ones. I bought a few things for the beach house as well. Just 3 more weeks and we will be enjoying a wonderful week away. I can not wait!
Not much going on in baby news. I am just waiting for my period to come in June, and then we will begin the cycle. I am so happy, but at the same time so scared that it will not work. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but boy do I want to be pregnant next month. I would love to tell my husband at his 40th birthday party that he is going to be a dad! His party is mid July, and I should be able to test right before it!
We are off to look at an open house today. After finding the home of our dreams last weekend I a not so excited to go house looking anymore. Sadly, we just can not afford that house, it is about 70K more than we wanted to pay. But I sure did love it!
We celebrated Tim's dads retirement on Thursday with a whole bunch of his co-workers at a restaurant in Maddison. It was a nice time, and his dad was really glad that his kids were there to support him. On the way home I felt sick, and just got worse as the night went on. By midway through the night I was in horrible condition. I called out of work and was really sick, fever, throwing up, the whole nine yards. I had a doctor's appointment that day anyway, so it worked out well. I went to see my general doctor, Doctor T, and he said it was food poisoning or a bug, he wasnt sure which one, as they both have the same symptoms. He wants a ultrasound of my spleen, but he gave me some meds to take away the nauseau and he also gave me a clean bill of health in general and said to go ahead and have a baby! He was pleased with my weight loss and said that it is much more healthy for me to have a baby now. It makes me so happy that all of my doctors are on board with getting pregnant now. I have lost 40 pounds and they are all happy and supportive and it makes me happy.
My husband has been away at a LAN party with his friends this weekend and I have had some great me time. I shopped all day yesterday, and bought a lot! The only bad thing about losing so much weight is that none of my clothes fit anymore! So I needed some new ones. I bought a few things for the beach house as well. Just 3 more weeks and we will be enjoying a wonderful week away. I can not wait!
Not much going on in baby news. I am just waiting for my period to come in June, and then we will begin the cycle. I am so happy, but at the same time so scared that it will not work. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but boy do I want to be pregnant next month. I would love to tell my husband at his 40th birthday party that he is going to be a dad! His party is mid July, and I should be able to test right before it!
We are off to look at an open house today. After finding the home of our dreams last weekend I a not so excited to go house looking anymore. Sadly, we just can not afford that house, it is about 70K more than we wanted to pay. But I sure did love it!
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Oncologist
So I had a follow up appointment with the Oncologist at the local hospital. A few months ago, March 9th, I had Co2 laser surgery on my girl bits. I had been diagnosed with severe pre-cancerous cells and had to have them removed. Laser is the most cosmetic friendly way to go, so the oncologist suggested that.
Well, perhaps he was optimistic but he told me 2 weeks of no sex and I would be good to go. This was the most painful surgery I have ever had. They burned from top to bottom, and it hurt like hell. So anyway, fast forward to now, 9 weeks later and it still hurt to have sex.
So, I went for a follow up again and he said there is one spot that looks scar like and it is healing slower due to less blood vessels. He gave me some lidocaine to put on when I want to have sex and said it will heal, he promises.
After that, I went to the market and to Walmart. I bought a baby onsie that says I love dad. This may be a bit over ambitious, but I am so hopeful that we will be pregnant next month. I made a pitcher of homemade lemonade, the ole fashioned way, lemons, water and sugar, yum.
Well, perhaps he was optimistic but he told me 2 weeks of no sex and I would be good to go. This was the most painful surgery I have ever had. They burned from top to bottom, and it hurt like hell. So anyway, fast forward to now, 9 weeks later and it still hurt to have sex.
So, I went for a follow up again and he said there is one spot that looks scar like and it is healing slower due to less blood vessels. He gave me some lidocaine to put on when I want to have sex and said it will heal, he promises.
After that, I went to the market and to Walmart. I bought a baby onsie that says I love dad. This may be a bit over ambitious, but I am so hopeful that we will be pregnant next month. I made a pitcher of homemade lemonade, the ole fashioned way, lemons, water and sugar, yum.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The beginning....
I have had bits and pieces of blogs over the years, but really want to be able to document our journey through infertility.
The start of us....7 years ago we began dating. We moved in together after almost 3 years and got married after being together about 6 and a half years. So, technically we are still newlyweds!
We own our home, but are currently looking to move to a new house with better school districts and a more family friendly neighborhood. I love looking at houses and dreaming of all the things that we could do to it.
I work as a court recording monitor for the State of Connecticut and my husband holds a job in video streaming. We both work full time and a bit of opposite schedules. Sometimes it sucks.
I have PCOS and after extensive testing, blood work, ultrasounds, HSG, SHG, and SA, we found out that I do not ovulate. No eggies = no babies. So, after thinking and talking with the doctor, next month we will start our first round of treatment, Clomid, Ovidrel and IUI. I am excited and scared to death! Follow me through it!
The start of us....7 years ago we began dating. We moved in together after almost 3 years and got married after being together about 6 and a half years. So, technically we are still newlyweds!
We own our home, but are currently looking to move to a new house with better school districts and a more family friendly neighborhood. I love looking at houses and dreaming of all the things that we could do to it.
I work as a court recording monitor for the State of Connecticut and my husband holds a job in video streaming. We both work full time and a bit of opposite schedules. Sometimes it sucks.
I have PCOS and after extensive testing, blood work, ultrasounds, HSG, SHG, and SA, we found out that I do not ovulate. No eggies = no babies. So, after thinking and talking with the doctor, next month we will start our first round of treatment, Clomid, Ovidrel and IUI. I am excited and scared to death! Follow me through it!
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