So I did my Ovid.rel shot on Saturday night at 10 pm....I went in for my IUI monday morning. I had to be there with the sample at 9:30 so they could wash it and then it went down at about 10:15...
I am not feeling oh so positive about this cycle....we did not abstain from sex long enough...should be 3 days, we went 34 hours...so while Tims count was high enough at 5.8.....it would/could have been higher. We will do better next time, I promise!
So now is the wait, and waiting I am terrible at....I have no patience at all, and even though I have a feeling it will be negative, I cant wait to find out one way or another...grr
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
18, 11, 12
So, there are 3 follicles growing....the 18 is the lead one and the other are not and may not get to maturity, or one may...who knows. My level went down today to 151....odd, but they did not seem negative about it.
We do our IUI on Monday...I do the Ovi.drel shot Saturday night and then show up, sperm in hand at 9:30 monday morning. I am nervous and excited! Woot!
We do our IUI on Monday...I do the Ovi.drel shot Saturday night and then show up, sperm in hand at 9:30 monday morning. I am nervous and excited! Woot!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Outpour!
So, I have been posting a lot on Facebook about this silly journey to making a baby. Maybe a little bit too much. It seems that some people are tired of reading it, or don't understand why i am so excited to have an egg, or say that I am jinxing myself by buying things for a baby.
This whole thing is really hard...and if buying gender neutral baby items is what gets me through it, I don't see the harm. I guess others do. Worst case is if for some reason I can not conceive then I will have a lot of baby shower gifts!
So, all of this is slight discouraging to me. If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing. Be sensitive, don't make snide remarks about how you are putting the cart before the horse and who cares if you have an egg, you aren't pregnant. I know that I am not pregnant, I am not stupid! But the fact is that I never made an egg on my own so to take the medicine to make an egg and see it work is encouraging....even if I don't end up pregnant this month, at least I know that while I am broken when it comes to making a baby, a medicine can help fix it....I went on on Wednesday anxious to see whether the medicine had worked at all. There was a good chance that the dose was not strong enough, since we started on the lowest dose, or that it was not the medicine for me. But it did work and that is pretty damn exciting to me...maybe not to everyone else, but to me it is!
So, if you are reading this hopefully you are not a negative nellie! I know it is hard for people to understand infertility who have not been trhough it, but it is really hard on a person physically and emotionally and often times financially, although luckily it has all been covered by insurance...we have spent maybe $125 on co pays so far, which is peanuts to what some people pay, so I feel blessed and lucky.
So this is my blog, its about life, about infertility and who knows what else. My dealings with my hsuband maybe tehe...sometimes when we fight I want to vent but have to watch what I put on facebook because I am friends with some of his friends....
So, check back often and see what I have written!
This whole thing is really hard...and if buying gender neutral baby items is what gets me through it, I don't see the harm. I guess others do. Worst case is if for some reason I can not conceive then I will have a lot of baby shower gifts!
So, all of this is slight discouraging to me. If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing. Be sensitive, don't make snide remarks about how you are putting the cart before the horse and who cares if you have an egg, you aren't pregnant. I know that I am not pregnant, I am not stupid! But the fact is that I never made an egg on my own so to take the medicine to make an egg and see it work is encouraging....even if I don't end up pregnant this month, at least I know that while I am broken when it comes to making a baby, a medicine can help fix it....I went on on Wednesday anxious to see whether the medicine had worked at all. There was a good chance that the dose was not strong enough, since we started on the lowest dose, or that it was not the medicine for me. But it did work and that is pretty damn exciting to me...maybe not to everyone else, but to me it is!
So, if you are reading this hopefully you are not a negative nellie! I know it is hard for people to understand infertility who have not been trhough it, but it is really hard on a person physically and emotionally and often times financially, although luckily it has all been covered by insurance...we have spent maybe $125 on co pays so far, which is peanuts to what some people pay, so I feel blessed and lucky.
So this is my blog, its about life, about infertility and who knows what else. My dealings with my hsuband maybe tehe...sometimes when we fight I want to vent but have to watch what I put on facebook because I am friends with some of his friends....
So, check back often and see what I have written!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And........
We have one follicle. I can not lie, I must say that secretly I had hoped for a fe, but one will do. No twins that means....
It is 14-15 in size right now and my estrogen is 178, all is on track. I got my Ovi.del today from the doctors office, it had been shipped there while we were on vacation.
I go back in on Friday to have another ultrasound and blood work and then I will probably do the shot over the weekend and then IUI on Monday and baby dance on Tuesday.
Wheeee so crazy to think that I am gonna be pregnant!
It is 14-15 in size right now and my estrogen is 178, all is on track. I got my Ovi.del today from the doctors office, it had been shipped there while we were on vacation.
I go back in on Friday to have another ultrasound and blood work and then I will probably do the shot over the weekend and then IUI on Monday and baby dance on Tuesday.
Wheeee so crazy to think that I am gonna be pregnant!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Vacation and Clo*mid
So Tim and I went on vacation for the last week at the beach house in Clinton that we have been to for the last 3 years. It is an amazing place and we have such a blast inviting our friends to come and spend time with us there. There is no internet and it really just gives us a time to recharge our emotional batteries. We relax and hang out. We bring out dog Moxie with us and she hangs out and loves being on the beach and playing frisbee and digging holes.
So we do a week in June and a week in September...just to give us something to look forward to.
So, we got to the beach house on Saturday and had a few couples up and did a Mexican night with our friends, played a drinking game and just had a blast. Sunday we had a dozen or more people up to hang out with us and I made enough food for an army! We had so much left over that I did not have to cook for the whole week. I took these days to have a few drinks, since hopefully this will be my last time drinking for a long time.
Monday I started my first day of clomi*d. I took it Monday through Friday, 50mgs. I also ordered my Ovid*rel injection from Freed*om pharmacy. I was really happy that the pills and shot only cost a whopping $15!
So I don't see to have had any physical side effects of the medicine so far, luckily. But emotionally they are kicking my ass. I did not really feel it until Saturday. I felt like I wanted to cry at the drop of a hat, and I felt angry as well, and then I was extra angry that I was angry, because I did not want to be angry. I felt sort of anti-social and just really not myself. It continued over to today, where I woke up cranky and was not nice to my husband over something that was not a big deal. I just feel over emotional and sad and angry. and I take that back, I feel really, really tired physically. That is the only change I have noticed.
So I go in on Wednesday and see how many eggs are growing, if any. It is possible that this is not the drug for me and it is not working. It is possible they will see some great eggs. I am anxious to see and hopeful that it is working....They will see how big the eggs are and I may need to be monitored for a few times to get the eggs to the size they want them, and then they will tell me to do my shot at home....and then the I*UI (insemination with the hubs swimmers).
I am really hopeful that it will all work out, but trying to be realistic as well,. It seems a bit harder for me today, because it is Fathers Day. Aside from my father hating me, I feel really sad that I am not able to just make a baby normally for my husband. And it makes me even more sad to think that half of the dads out there are dads on accident. And it really makes me feel sad, and broken that I just can't say okay, its time and make a baby. I am broken. And I often wonder if my husband feels that way too, but just will not say it. It weighs heavily on my mind...and my heart.
I feel so many emotions and think surely crazy thoughts..I just wish that someone, somewhere understood. I can see this is already taking a small toll on my marriage with my crankiness and my husband who doesn't really quite get it. He wants to get it, I know he does, but I just dont think he can.
So, I will update on Wednesday!
So we do a week in June and a week in September...just to give us something to look forward to.
So, we got to the beach house on Saturday and had a few couples up and did a Mexican night with our friends, played a drinking game and just had a blast. Sunday we had a dozen or more people up to hang out with us and I made enough food for an army! We had so much left over that I did not have to cook for the whole week. I took these days to have a few drinks, since hopefully this will be my last time drinking for a long time.
Monday I started my first day of clomi*d. I took it Monday through Friday, 50mgs. I also ordered my Ovid*rel injection from Freed*om pharmacy. I was really happy that the pills and shot only cost a whopping $15!
So I don't see to have had any physical side effects of the medicine so far, luckily. But emotionally they are kicking my ass. I did not really feel it until Saturday. I felt like I wanted to cry at the drop of a hat, and I felt angry as well, and then I was extra angry that I was angry, because I did not want to be angry. I felt sort of anti-social and just really not myself. It continued over to today, where I woke up cranky and was not nice to my husband over something that was not a big deal. I just feel over emotional and sad and angry. and I take that back, I feel really, really tired physically. That is the only change I have noticed.
So I go in on Wednesday and see how many eggs are growing, if any. It is possible that this is not the drug for me and it is not working. It is possible they will see some great eggs. I am anxious to see and hopeful that it is working....They will see how big the eggs are and I may need to be monitored for a few times to get the eggs to the size they want them, and then they will tell me to do my shot at home....and then the I*UI (insemination with the hubs swimmers).
I am really hopeful that it will all work out, but trying to be realistic as well,. It seems a bit harder for me today, because it is Fathers Day. Aside from my father hating me, I feel really sad that I am not able to just make a baby normally for my husband. And it makes me even more sad to think that half of the dads out there are dads on accident. And it really makes me feel sad, and broken that I just can't say okay, its time and make a baby. I am broken. And I often wonder if my husband feels that way too, but just will not say it. It weighs heavily on my mind...and my heart.
I feel so many emotions and think surely crazy thoughts..I just wish that someone, somewhere understood. I can see this is already taking a small toll on my marriage with my crankiness and my husband who doesn't really quite get it. He wants to get it, I know he does, but I just dont think he can.
So, I will update on Wednesday!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Life sometimes just gets in the way of doing the things that we want to do, like shop and blog and get pedicures!
I have been doing a lot of transcript typing in preparation for going on vacation. I have certain deadlines that I need to meet and things to get finished...and new stuff keeps coming in. I get a little overwhelmed...but spent some of today typing and will spend more time tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we also are going to 2 open houses. I really enjoy these and love that my husband goes. I tell him it's a cheap date because it is free and I really enjoy the time together with him.
This coming weekend we are heading to the beach house, and I can not wait! I feel like I need this, I feel that we need this as individuals and as a couple. No Internet, just me, my hubby and our dog. Of course we have friends coming up on the weekend to spend time with us, which I also enjoy!
I am waiting for my cycle to start. It should be coming between the 9-13th, today is the 6th....and once it starts everything sort of jump starts. I go to the doctor on day 2 or 3 and then start the Clo.mid. I am scared and excited all at the same time. I am really trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I really hope that it works the first cycle. I know there is a decent chance it may not, but I really do hope it does. I know I will experience great disappointment if it doesn't.
I have been reading alot and trying to be really informed about infertility. I have been reading other peoples blogs, reading books, the internet and talking to people. We have a couple that are going through it at the same time as us, and while they are doing diferent meds because they have been being treated longer, it is nice to have a female to talk to and maybe for my hsuband to have someone to talk to as well. I think sometimes we forget how it effects the husbands in our lives and I want to try to be sensitive to that as well.
I have been doing a lot of transcript typing in preparation for going on vacation. I have certain deadlines that I need to meet and things to get finished...and new stuff keeps coming in. I get a little overwhelmed...but spent some of today typing and will spend more time tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we also are going to 2 open houses. I really enjoy these and love that my husband goes. I tell him it's a cheap date because it is free and I really enjoy the time together with him.
This coming weekend we are heading to the beach house, and I can not wait! I feel like I need this, I feel that we need this as individuals and as a couple. No Internet, just me, my hubby and our dog. Of course we have friends coming up on the weekend to spend time with us, which I also enjoy!
I am waiting for my cycle to start. It should be coming between the 9-13th, today is the 6th....and once it starts everything sort of jump starts. I go to the doctor on day 2 or 3 and then start the Clo.mid. I am scared and excited all at the same time. I am really trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I really hope that it works the first cycle. I know there is a decent chance it may not, but I really do hope it does. I know I will experience great disappointment if it doesn't.
I have been reading alot and trying to be really informed about infertility. I have been reading other peoples blogs, reading books, the internet and talking to people. We have a couple that are going through it at the same time as us, and while they are doing diferent meds because they have been being treated longer, it is nice to have a female to talk to and maybe for my hsuband to have someone to talk to as well. I think sometimes we forget how it effects the husbands in our lives and I want to try to be sensitive to that as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)